Tag Archives: Christmas

The Last Christmas: III Misterioso

The Last Christmas: III Misterioso

As per holiday tradition, I have again produced a Christmas album, although only an EP this year – or a virtual chamber ensemble playing once piece in five movements. This movement is the odd one out, using the same MIDI data for pitch and rhythm as the other movements use. The only sound used, however, is one sample. The same sample appears in all the movements at least once, but in them it is untransformed.

Also per holiday tradition, this is intended as a fundraiser for a worthy cause. Please consider donating to UKLGIG. cafdonate.cafonline.org/111#/DonationDetails They support LGBTQI+ people through the asylum and immigration process. Their vision is a world where there is equality, dignity, respect and safety for all people in the expression of their sexual or gender identity.

Or, if you are in the US, please donate to the National Center for Transgender Equality secure2.convio.net/ncftge/site/Donation2;jsessionid=00000000.app268b?df_id=1480&mfc_pref=T&1480.donation=form1&NONCE_TOKEN=C5EA18E62F736227261DC4CE5C50ADBE

If you are interested in hearing the rest of the album, it’s on bandcamp https://charleshutchins.bandcamp.com/album/the-last-christmas. This movement is my favourite one and the only one I’ll post here, lest this turn into a Christmas podcast. I’ve written a post about how the whole piece was made on my blog.

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Santa Loves You

[play] Santa Loves You

I was extremely startled to hear the religious content in the second verse of Here Comes Santa Claus. It seems the authors were responding to criticism of the secular/commercial focus of most Santa-based songs and thus were trying to have it both ways.

The addition of God only increases the tension of the culture war’s resonances within this song. Instead of including Jesus, the song instead seemingly elevates Santa to part of a pantheon.

The attempt to tackle class is even less successful – Santa may love children who are rich and poor equally, but they don’t get equal presents.

This is the last song in this year’s Christmas album. If you enjoyed it (or not), please consider making a donation to the Hackney Night Shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

If you’d like to download this album in higher fidelity than is available here, you can find it and cover art over at bandcamp. It’s a free download, but please do make a donation directly to the shelter!

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Sledge Trudge

[play] Sledge Trudge

Some songs have hidden dystopian meanings or inner, subtle depth. And some are just dull but still popular. From Kenny G’s wholly regrettable key changes to the Ronnette’s questionable special effects, the recorded history of pop acts covering Sleigh Ride is one of desperation to make anything interesting happen. Somehow, this song lingers in the top 20 of seasonal favourites, safe, boring, predicatable and no actual mention of any holidays at all.

I uncovered some bug in Audacity that would not allow me to cut out Johnny Matthis saying ‘Just’ at the start of the song, so he remains.

All of my Christmas songs this year are fundraising for the Hackney Night shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

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Funky (The Slow Jam)

[play] Funky (The Slow Jam)

This uses three different audio sources. In this version, there’s no effort to do beat matching and the playback rates are all based on the same minor pentatonic scale, but without coordination between the rates. I like the end.

All of my Christmas songs this year are fundraising for the Hackney Night shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

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Walking in a Winter No Man’s Land

[play]Walking in a Winter No Man’s Land

Perhaps the strangest part of the lyrics of the original song is when a snow man demands to know if the narrator is single and the narrator immediately suggests polyamoury:

[The snow man will] say ‘Are you married?’
We’ll say ‘no, man.
But you can do the job,
When you’re in town.’

This rendition primarily relies on the Andrews Sisters, but also on Dean Martin and Johnny Mathis. The title was suggested by a member of the Mastodon social network, @oliviadahling@mastodon.social,

All of my Christmas songs this year are fundraising for the Hackney Night shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

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Lettuce, No

[play]Lettuce, No

Yet another deconstruction of a baby boomer favourite. The title was provided by a member of the Mastodon social network, @emdeesee@octodon.social.

All of my Christmas songs this year are fundraising for the Hackney Night shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

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I Saw the Mummy Killing Santa Claus

[play]I Saw the Mummy Killing Santa Claus

The uplifting choir bits at the very beginning and very end of this 1950s Christmas pop song sound a bit like weird moaning when slowed down.

Many of these pop songs have virtually no instrumental parts, so the only sections that aren’t full of voice are the intro and the outro.

All of my Christmas songs this year are fundraising for the Hackney Night shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

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Der Tannenbaumherumtanz

[play]Der Tannenbaumherumtanz

This piece uses the sax solo from another baby boomer favourite Christmas song. The title was provided by a member of the Mastodon social network, @mattamatic@wandering.shop.

All of my Christmas songs this year are fundraising for the Hackney Night shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

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Deviation from the Norm will be Punished Unless it is Exploitable

[play]Deviation from the Norm will be Punished Unless it is Exploitable

This was inspired by (and titled from) my favourite holiday meme.

All of my Christmas songs this year are to fundraising for the Hackney Night shelter, which my wife has been volunteering at. There are very few shelter beds in East London. This roving shelter makes up a large percentage of them.

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